Episode 10

full
Published on:

20th Mar 2025

Integrating Faith in Therapy: Sadia Jalali on Resilience

Exploring Resilience and the Forgotten Sunnah of Step-Parenting with Sadia Jalili

In this episode of the American Muslim Podcast, Imam Tariq El-Amin welcomes Sadia Jalili, a licensed marriage and family therapist who has dedicated 18 years to supporting Houston's Muslim community. Sadia shares her journey and experiences, highlighting her educational background, her work with Muslims in therapy, and the challenges faced in dealing with varying levels of religiosity and resistance to therapy. She discusses her unique research on the Prophet Muhammad's ﷺ role as a stepfather and her efforts in developing a framework for blended families. Additionally, Sadia emphasizes the importance of resilience, emotional intelligence, and maintaining a faith-grounded approach in therapy. Follow her insights on social media through 'Muslim Bliss' where she shares relationship advice and psychoeducation.

00:00 Introduction to Bayan on Demand

00:52 Welcome to the American Muslim Podcast

01:32 Meet Sadia Jalili: A Dedicated Therapist

02:33 Sadia's Journey into Therapy

07:22 Challenges and Triumphs in Therapy

09:36 Navigating Faith and Therapy

14:57 Therapy in the Muslim Community

22:35 Balancing Professional and Personal Life

27:43 Navigating Parenting Challenges

28:32 The Power of Pausing

29:13 Reflecting on Parenting Mistakes

30:38 Introducing the Thesis

31:52 Prophetic Guidance on Blended Families

35:04 Turning Research into a Book

36:18 Introducing Muslim Bliss

38:25 Self-Worth and Divine Love

42:07 Resilience and Relationships

50:36 Concluding Thoughts and Farewell

Connect with Us:

bayanonline.org

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Cover Art & Intro Music - Tariq I. El-Amin @ImamTariqElamin

🎧 Listen & Subscribe: Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and other major streaming platforms.

Transcript
Imam Tariq:

Bayan on Demand offers a growing library of

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courses taught by highly regarded

scholars and practitioners.

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Designed for masjid board members,

school administrators, imams, chaplains,

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With classes on Islamic theology,

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management, and the history of Islam in

America and more, Bayan on Demand provides

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accessible knowledge for just 10 a month.

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Join our growing community of

learners today and support the work

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of Bayan Islamic Graduate School

and the Muhammad Ali Scholarship.

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Go to bayanonline.

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org, that's B A Y A N, online,

dot org, to get more information.

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As salamu alaykum.

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May the peace that only

God can give be upon you.

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Welcome to the American Muslim

Podcast presented by Bayan On Demand.

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I'm your host, Imam Tariq El- Amin.

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This is the space where we go beyond

the headlines and the work itself to

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meet the people behind it, the leaders,

the thinkers, and the change makers who

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shape the American Muslim experience.

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We explore their journeys that

brought them here, the ideas

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that drive them, and the pivotal

moments that define their path.

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Along the way, we will also learn

about their connection to Bayan Islamic

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Graduate School and how it has helped

to inform their leadership and vision.

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Join us each week as we learn,

reflect, and grow together.

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Today, I am honored to welcome

Sadia Jalili to the podcast.

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Sadiya is a licensed marriage and

family therapist supervisor who has

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dedicated the past 18 years to supporting

the Muslim community in Houston.

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She holds a master's degree in family

therapy and recently completed a

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master's in Islamic studies from

Bayan Islamic Graduate School, further

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equipping her to serve the community.

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Through her practice, Solace Therapy,

she provides counseling for individuals

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and families, and she also shares Muslim

friendly relationship insights through

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her social media platform, Muslim Bliss.

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And beyond all of that, her most cherished

role is being a mother to seven children

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ranging from college aged to toddlers.

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Alhamdulillah.

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Sister Sadia, welcome to

the American Muslim Podcast.

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As salamu

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alaykum.

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Sadia Jalali: Wa alaykum as salam.

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So happy to be here, Brother Tariq.

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Thank you so much for having me.

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Imam Tariq: Well, thank

you for making the time.

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We begin by inviting you

to be as transparent.

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And as open as you are comfortable

being and telling your story.

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Sadia Jalali: Absolutely.

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Imam Tariq: Looking at where you are

right now, can you identify a moment,

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an event, or maybe even a person

that influenced your life trajectory?

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Sadia Jalali: Oh, that

is a very tough question.

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I often think about this and I

feel we plan and I love plans and

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the last plans are always better.

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that is, that is the motto of my life.

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it is just, you think you're going one

direction and, Things just happen and you

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just are in a different direction, right?

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And, SubhanAllah, I feel like that

has been the case just all along.

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And there's these, now that I can

look back a little bit, there's

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like these full circle moments

where something that transpired

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15 to 20 years ago, there's this

culmination that happens at some point.

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And, SubhanAllah, that's a

little, and I'll talk about that.

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That's a little bit how Bayan feels for

me, but I'll explain that in a minute.

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it's an interesting trajectory.

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I have to say.

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I grew up wanting to be something

in psychology because I liked it

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and I thought it was good at it.

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And people just naturally

talked to me and told me things.

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I was like, why am I the secret keeper?

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what is this?

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I don't want, that's not a role you

want when you're like a teenager, I'm

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going to try to speed through this, but

basically, I grew up in a brown household

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and psychology really wasn't a thing.

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They didn't understand what that was.

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They didn't My parents were just

like, okay, like not super, they

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weren't like, no, you can't, but

they were like, is this real?

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This is real.

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had to come up with

something more interesting.

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And in undergrad, it was something called

industrial organizational psychology

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and, or social organizational psychology.

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And it's a little, it hangs into

the business realm a little bit.

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and so it felt more real,

to them, to me, Ooh, crazy.

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Got into Columbia University for their

social organizational psychology program,

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moved to New York City in August of 2001.

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a few things happened the

month after September of:

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As the world would have it, and

as Allah would have it, I ended up

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moving, I ended up leaving because

it was a bit of a chaotic time.

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If people can go back to that time,

a lot happened, and there was a

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lot of uncertainty in the world.

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I was living alone even though I was

married at the time, yeah, it didn't feel

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safe as a, hijabi, Muslim at the time.

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And so anyway, I moved back to

Houston, was a little bit like.

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What am I doing with my life,

what's happening right now,

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because, a big change happened.

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And I met somebody at a dinner

gathering that was talking about

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being in a marriage and family therapy

program, It's an old friend of mine.

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And, she, I was like,

huh, this is interesting.

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And I still live, loved

my psychology side.

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Again, fast forward, alhamdulillah

got into that program and, have just

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built from that point on and I think

my biggest draw at that time was I

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didn't know any Muslim therapists.

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I knew maybe one, in the

city, maybe one, maybe two.

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Really, I think just one kind

of sticks out at the moment.

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So I was like, this is an area

I don't see any Muslims doing so

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wanted to dive into their right.

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Let me type out really quick into

this when you said, cause it's an

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interesting question when you said,

what's that turning point moment, right?

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So I was really fortunate from

the lab, really blessed in my teen

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years, later teen years to be in

a very consistent Holocaust group.

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In Houston, and it was by mostly

taught by a brother named Pervez Ahmed.

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he actually lives up in the Bay area

now, but it was, and a few other

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brothers that were really, dedicated

to books and learning, right?

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we started organizing

conferences, programs, right?

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you know, Imam Siraj Dr.

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Sherman Jackson, and just a

bunch of people would come

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through and do speeches, Dr.

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Jamal Budwe, just lots of

different speakers at the time.

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We used to do a lot of work.

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So my passion really became Islamic

studies, to be honest, right?

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But again, as Just Allah would have it,

I'd gotten married and lots of stuff

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happened, and the trajectory to formally

study Islam didn't happen, right?

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And then fast forward 20

something years, right?

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Where I've gone to classes and

lectures and studied in every

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capacity that I could at the time.

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Okay.

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And, a coworker or not coworkers, she's a

friend of mine, but my children's Islamic

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school, she's also a graduate from Bayan.

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Zohra Razak started the program at BAYAN.

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And it was like, tell me more, so

finding a program that could let me

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have the life that I had at the moment,

I was actually a single mom of four.

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And, To be able to do a master's

in Islamic studies at my age was

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like the most exciting thing.

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I cannot explain to you.

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Okay.

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It was just like the most

exciting thing in the world.

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And the, really the most exciting

part was the scholars, the people, the

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teachers that were coming, when I heard

about which teachers were teaching

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these classes, I was like, that's it.

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That's it.

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alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah man happened.

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So it's good.

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It's like, how did you get there?

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curve balls.

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And I don't.

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Yeah, so

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Imam Tariq: were your parents the

stereotypical immigrant Muslim parents

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who only want their children to be?

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Engineers are doctors.

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Sadia Jalali: Yep.

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Oh, they were like, why

aren't you a doctor?

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Why aren't you a doctor?

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Begging me to be a doctor,

please be a doctor.

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Imam Tariq: What have you taken from

all of these curve balls aside from

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obviously a profound trust that Allah

knows what Allah is doing, right?

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But were you able to see any of

those things happening in the moment?

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Sadia Jalali: no.

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And I think this is what I

try to impart on my kids.

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that Tawakkul at the end of the

day, is trusting God when in

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your brain it doesn't make sense.

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It's like trusting God when it's hard.

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It's trusting God when you don't get it.

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and That's hard.

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That's really hard.

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And, but I feel like, no, in the moment,

I really don't believe I understood

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what was going to happen next.

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I just knew that when I did the family

therapy program, I was like, there's a

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void, there's a need in this community.

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And I would love to, be a part of that.

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I would love to be a part

of the solution, right?

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Some do something about this.

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And as time has passed,

because I'd always.

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on my side, you know on the side through

classes, through whatever conferences,

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books, whatever had studied Islam.

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I wanted to find a way to

Bring that to the table, too.

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So when you're taught psychology

and Western, in the secular,

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they keep it very secular, right?

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You're literally taught

in your classes back then.

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Don't bring God in the room.

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Don't bring God in the room, right?

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I'm a Muslim, God's here.

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I don't know what to tell you.

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we don't do that.

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we don't play that game, right?

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God is just here because

it's here and that's just it.

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Like I can't remove it, And so I think

feeling comfortable in that is another

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reason why it was always important

for me to study in some capacity

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was that I wanted to have a comfort

and a confidence in what I'm saying.

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If I'm talking about Islam, I don't

want to come from an ignorant place.

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I wanted to come from somewhat

of an educated place, at

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least the best of my ability.

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Imam Tariq: I know that perception

shapes reality for better or for worse.

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Historically, marriage, counseling,

family therapy, mental health.

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I know that's a different track, but

those things have not always been viewed

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favorably within the Muslim community.

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There's been skepticism about its

utility, and while that perception is

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shifting, have you encountered resistance

to the idea of therapy in your work?

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and if so, how have you

navigated those challenges?

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Sadia Jalali: Yeah, that's actually,

especially when I first started,

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you're right, it has improved, I

would say, in the last few years,

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but, And I'll talk about that in a

minute too, because I almost feel

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like there's been a pendulum swing.

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We've gone the other way where

it's yeah, guys, life is hard.

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I don't know what to tell you.

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it is hard.

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We don't have to pathologize it.

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We don't have to call it, something

because yeah, this is Dunya.

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so we'll get to that in a minute.

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But, I do think, at the time, there

was just a complete denial, right?

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There was actually this idea of, You're

having some troubles, go to your imam.

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Go talk to the Imam, figure it out.

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and some imams are able

to do some of that.

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and many were not, many were honestly

not equipped or taught some of that,

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and I think that would end up being

a real disservice to the couple

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or the person really struggling

with either mental health issues

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or bearable and family issues.

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I think they were not always

given, the best advice because

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it simply wasn't their expertise.

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I don't think it was malicious.

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I don't think it was,

bad intended or anything.

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It just simply wasn't their expertise

and they were doing their best.

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And I feel like over time,

there became this understanding.

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And what I would tell people is

that, look, at the end of the day,

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what you're doing isn't working.

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What you have tried to do, even

taking the advice from the, like

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it, your situation is not improving.

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So maybe there is

something else we can try.

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And it was like that.

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It was like, Hey, let's open up this

possibility that there could be something.

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Some skills out there

you could learn, right?

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Some communication skills, some this,

some that, that might benefit you.

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It might not be, a mental illness.

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It may just be something systemically

going on and how you interact and

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communicate with each other, I

think coming at people from where

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they're at, And not making them

feel bad about where they are.

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And just saying, Hey, let's open

up some psychological space.

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Let's open up some possibility.

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So could it be this, right?

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Could this be helpful?

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Maybe let's try something, And

I think that more tentative

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approach, had tended to be, helpful.

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and I would also bring up to them

that look at the end of the day,

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the prophet ﷺ encouraged shu'rah.

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we believe in consultation.

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We believe in hearing

from other voices, right?

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The prophet, when he knew he wasn't

an expert at something, he'd tell you,

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the, I think the garden situation,

When you said to do this and the guy

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did it and it didn't grow as well.

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It was like, I'm not, I'm not

a gardener, I'm not the expert.

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So it's It's low, right?

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Like the humility, the prophet ﷺ just

to say, yeah, that's not my expertise.

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leaders these days wish they could

say it, Wish they could say, I don't

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know, but I think that's the thing,

wanting to understand that this

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is not apart from our tradition.

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This is part of our tradition.

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Even when.

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In the Qur'an, the steps it gives you,

assigning a person from the woman's

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side, assigning a person from the

man's side, this, all these different

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things that we're prescribed to do,

that means there are steps to be taken.

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There is help to get had, right?

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Like you're supposed to go get help.

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This isn't a deal and deal,

and, spiritually bypass, right?

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Which kind of means you pray in

a way where you take no action.

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You do nothing.

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You just praying, right?

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You can't spiritually bypass your issues.

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They are there.

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And Allah gave us ways and

tools and people in our paths

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to potentially better that.

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Imam Tariq: are there any specific

issues that you deal with as

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a Muslim woman that maybe male

colleagues don't have to deal with?

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Sadia Jalali: Yeah.

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I do think that there's just the simple

idea of there are men that will come

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in and again, this is where I think

Bayan for me felt good because it gave

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me a little extra boost of confidence

in what I'm saying, And I can back it

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up a lot clearer just by being more

Islamically literate in certain things.

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There's a lot of men that will buck

up against, If I'm trying to explain

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something, a lot of them will bring

in fiqh and bring in, the prophet

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ﷺ said this, he also said this.

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What do you think that means?

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Tell me the context of

when he said what you said.

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Tell me the story around it.

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what did the woman come up to him and ask

him for him to give that response, right?

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Or what did the man come up

to him and ask him to do it?

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And I think feeling a little more

comfortable to challenge, because I

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think men, often in our community, I

feel that they get very uncomfortable

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when a woman is like, being a

little directive or being a little

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instructive, sometimes for some men.

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That would be uncomfortable for

them and they would be very quick to

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want to dismiss it or challenge it.

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and I felt that I needed more to

be able to back myself up and, feel

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comfortable kind of in my chair.

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this is my seat.

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let me take it, and, be able

to share some, something that.

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maybe, again, maybe there's

another possibility, right?

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Again, it wasn't out to just challenge,

that doesn't always work, right?

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It's hey, you know what else there was?

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There was this.

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Hey, you know what else there was?

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There was this.

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How do you explain that?

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What do you think that meant?

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and trying to get them to draw their own

conclusion of, maybe that's something too.

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Imam Tariq: It almost sounds

like a, help me help you a thing.

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Sadia Jalali: It literally was

a help me help you all the time.

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It was a help me help you all the

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time.

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Imam Tariq: So in your 18 years

of marriage and family therapy,

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have your clients been or are

they now exclusively Muslim?

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Sadia Jalali: Yes.

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Yes.

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So I would say probably for the last 15

to 16 years has been exclusively Muslim.

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that first couple of years, the,

private practice I was in, it

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was a group private practice.

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We had mandated clients, so they

would be like the child protective

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services clients and some other folks

that kind of had to get therapy.

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and that was very interesting experience.

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It's very interesting.

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and honestly, it's really for me.

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And the trajectory ended up taking was

really great experience because those

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were people who didn't want to be there.

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And oftentimes in couples

counseling, it's one that calls

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and the other gets dragged in.

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And it wasn't always the man by the way,

that was the one getting dragged in it.

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And times it was in the reverse,

it was a man calling you

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know, wife getting dragged in.

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it happened, Getting, understanding

what to do with people who don't wanna

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be there, and trying to still make

the best space, use of that time was a

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valuable skill that I was able to pick

up with some of these early clients.

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but since then, yeah, honestly, I think

once the word was out that there is a

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Muslim available, to do therapy with,

a lot of folks felt more comfortable

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coming in and talking to somebody.

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there were Muslims that

had come in very early on.

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That were talking to me about

being surveilled post 9 11, right?

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We're still talking in

the mid:

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So mid to late 2000s.

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So things were still happening

to Muslims that's a very hard

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thing to explain to a non Muslim.

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They're going to say you're paranoid.

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They're going to say,

you've got paranoia, right?

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it's no, there's some factual

stuff happening here, and

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there are, this does happen.

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People were getting, things were

happening to people that were, not good.

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And so I think having somebody

to even understand that part of

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it early on was really helpful.

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And then just as time has passed,

again, having somebody who understands

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our cultural context and like things

like, family involvement, right?

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we're a community.

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We're a collective, right?

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we operate in the collective.

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We're not silos.

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We don't operate as individualistic

people, as a faith community,

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even amongst many of our, cultural

and ethnic communities, right?

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We're community based.

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So when you go to some therapists

who don't understand that,

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they're like, cut them off.

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And it's first of all, Islamically,

we don't really cut off.

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That's not really, we

don't like to do that.

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and things like that, I think

Alhamdulillah has been beneficial

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to have somebody that says,

okay, what do we do with this?

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This is a problem.

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We're acknowledging that,

but we got to work with it.

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Imam Tariq: How do you deal with

varying levels of religiosity?

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everybody's not at the same level

of faith, of trust, of practice.

360

:

How do you respond to that?

361

:

Sadia Jalali: that's a great question.

362

:

and I think this is where I

do land on my sort of thing.

363

:

Secular learning, Where it's at the

end of the day, I am, you are coming

364

:

to me because you have something

that you're trying to work through.

365

:

and to literally feel better, you feel

bad and you're just trying to feel better.

366

:

And so I try to remind myself that

look, I'm not, I bring, I talk about

367

:

a lot in the room as much as a lot is

brought into the room, and so if that

368

:

is important to you, if a faith lens is

important to you, if the perspective is

369

:

important to you, I'm happy to go there.

370

:

I will not avoid it.

371

:

I'm happy to go there.

372

:

However, it's not where I start because

I don't know if that's where you are.

373

:

I do feel like over the years I have found

myself getting more comfortable, allowing,

374

:

spirituality to come into the room, even

when not necessarily brought in, only

375

:

as a means of potentially benefiting

the client in some capacity, right?

376

:

There, there's, a lot of research

that shows when you add a faith based,

377

:

perspective to therapy, it actually is a,

is an incredibly, accelerating concept.

378

:

It actually does well for outcomes.

379

:

Because our faith and our spiritual,

it's those, studies you read in modern

380

:

medicine, where they say, if somebody

has a faith tradition that they hang

381

:

on to through a disease, they tend to

get better because they have more hope.

382

:

They're more hopeful, right?

383

:

They have something to hang on to,

to anchor them, that grounds them.

384

:

So in that same context, I feel like I've

become more comfortable with people who,

385

:

are Muslim and they identify that way.

386

:

It's not that they don't necessarily,

but they are pretty far from it.

387

:

I'm becoming a little bit more

comfortable if there's a moment where

388

:

it makes sense, I may bring it back

in just to say, Hey, I wonder when's

389

:

the last time you talked to him?

390

:

have you talked to him?

391

:

You're really struggling, maybe

just have a conversation, right?

392

:

it's not about prayer.

393

:

It's not about anything.

394

:

just talk to him.

395

:

Acknowledge him.

396

:

Go complain to him.

397

:

like you, you're hurting, you're upset.

398

:

Ask him about it.

399

:

Go ask him about it.

400

:

and Ask him for solutions.

401

:

So it's in a, in whatever capacity

that makes sense in the moment.

402

:

So it's not always there, I will

tell you, there are issues that get

403

:

very difficult where it's if I know

a client is doing something they,

404

:

I say shouldn't to be doing it's

not my place to, to call that out.

405

:

But I think it's interesting

because they call themselves out.

406

:

I don't really have to, they know.

407

:

So there's this.

408

:

So the way we even talk is there's

this understood, I'm engaging

409

:

in things I'm not supposed to.

410

:

It's just understood.

411

:

So that's the nice part, I think.

412

:

And, so I don't really

have to do much with that.

413

:

It's just more of a, how

is it affecting their life?

414

:

Typically they're coming

because it's affecting their

415

:

life negatively in some way.

416

:

So then I address that part of

it, And get them to walk back to.

417

:

Oh, look, what's, Oh, look,

what's causing this distress here.

418

:

And hopefully walk them back to

that place is what we try to do.

419

:

Imam Tariq: Is it easier to bring God

consciousness into therapy with the Muslim

420

:

client than with a non Muslim client?

421

:

Sadia Jalali: It's interesting.

422

:

I've seen, I do still

see non Muslim clients.

423

:

It's not that I won't see them, right?

424

:

It's just where my time

gets filled up, right?

425

:

but I will see non Muslim clients and it's

interesting because It's almost as if I

426

:

make it okay for them to draw on their

faith tradition, you know Whereas maybe

427

:

other therapists make it uncomfortable

for them I think they just understand that

428

:

like whether it be because I'm visibly

Muslim or I'm not sure where they get the

429

:

idea from, because I try not to bring it

in the room if I know that's, especially

430

:

if we don't share faith traditions, right?

431

:

unless they bring it in the room,

then I'm happy to, but it's, I

432

:

feel like they do often feel very

comfortable bringing God into the

433

:

room, and that's how we speak about it.

434

:

We just speak about God, And I think

they, they appreciate that, but there's

435

:

a space for them as well, where you

can have these mental health issues

436

:

or have these family issues and still

feel like I can draw from my faith.

437

:

Imam Tariq: Sr.

438

:

Sadia, you might be familiar with

the words of Marianne Williamson.

439

:

she wrote as we let our own light

shine, we unconsciously give other

440

:

people permission to do the same as

we are liberated from our own fear.

441

:

Our presence automatically

liberates others.

442

:

Listening to you.

443

:

It is clear that you have embodied

this through your presence.

444

:

You have created space for your clients,

both Muslims and non Muslims to bring

445

:

God into their therapy sessions in a

way that they might not have otherwise.

446

:

I just want to thank you for, for

articulating that so beautifully.

447

:

Sadia Jalali: No, I think it's

nice though, if I'm able to

448

:

give people that permission.

449

:

I think that's a, what an

honor, what a privilege, right?

450

:

To be able to feel that someone doesn't

have to hide their faith in God.

451

:

Like why would we ever want anyone

to hide that or feel like they can't

452

:

express that in some way or especially

express the importance of it.

453

:

that's even more, important.

454

:

So I'm really thankful for that.

455

:

Imam Tariq: Now I've served as an

Imam for most of my daughter's life.

456

:

So they're used to seeing me in that role.

457

:

Of course, there are times when I

imagine they feel like they're getting

458

:

a Khutbah, but when I was studying

Islamic chaplaincy, I found myself

459

:

trying to apply those techniques.

460

:

Active listening, letting them

identify the problem and solution.

461

:

Do you find yourself bringing

your therapist slash counselor

462

:

hijab with you home when you're

dealing with your children?

463

:

Sadia Jalali: Yeah, yes and no, and

I will be really transparent here.

464

:

Oh, it's like you can know all the things.

465

:

And then you become a parent, right?

466

:

It's like everything you know to be Right?

467

:

And everything you can do out here

in the world, I don't understand what

468

:

happens when I am tested in the home.

469

:

It's like a, it's such a disconnect.

470

:

my, it's, it's a little rough when

your kids will look back at you

471

:

and say, aren't you a therapist?

472

:

Like, why would you say that?

473

:

Oh, okay.

474

:

But I will say that

those are just my, not.

475

:

Not shining moments, right?

476

:

Those are my, my, regrettable moments, but

477

:

Imam Tariq: we all have them.

478

:

Sadia Jalali: we do.

479

:

but I will say, Alhamdulillah, as

an overall trajectory, absolutely.

480

:

I am so grateful that I've had the

experiences that I've had seeing

481

:

just what's out there and Having to

sit with discomfort in the way that

482

:

I've had to write, teenagers doing

things, doing just some things, and

483

:

just being exposed to it and sitting

with it and having to work with it.

484

:

It's, it helps that whenever you

struggle or your own child has

485

:

challenges or, is trying to dabble in

something you're uncomfortable with or

486

:

whatever, like you, you don't freak out.

487

:

There's no real, I think.

488

:

My parents generation, Ooh, cause

they were, my parents were immigrants

489

:

and I think, them not being aware of

what public high schools and whatnot

490

:

may bring, that was hard for them.

491

:

They hear something and it would be

like zero to 10, zero, a hundred, right?

492

:

Like it was just like, it was, and

I don't think I operate like that.

493

:

And Alhamdulillah for that.

494

:

I think I'm much more understanding.

495

:

I'm more.

496

:

I'm willing to work with it.

497

:

more just okay, let's, all

right, you made the mistake.

498

:

let's now what?

499

:

So I do understand there's

this repair that has to happen.

500

:

There's this, have you asked

Allah for forgiveness first?

501

:

don't fear me, look at what look at

what you did and who you transgressed.

502

:

You didn't just transgress me.

503

:

There's a higher order here.

504

:

And just helping them see that I

think has been really like a big

505

:

blessing because as your kids are

two kids in college, as you have.

506

:

Kids that move away.

507

:

I'm not there.

508

:

They don't have to fear me.

509

:

I don't know what's going on, right?

510

:

But I wanted to instill in them this

idea that there is always someone

511

:

watching, and I think just having

that perspective and being able to

512

:

have not freaked out up front Allowed

them to stay really open with me.

513

:

So they do sometimes come to me

when they're really struggling and

514

:

even when it's Very uncomfortable

for me, and I'm like, Oh, okay.

515

:

I don't know what I'm

supposed to do with this.

516

:

I'm freaking out internally, but

it's on the outside, I'm able to turn

517

:

something back on and go with it.

518

:

Imam Tariq: You know what I hear?

519

:

I hear a deep sense of mercy in the way

you engage your children, especially in

520

:

how you center their relationship with

the law, rather than just your authority,

521

:

which is generally what parents do.

522

:

All right, we're the boss.

523

:

Listen to us with children ranging

from college age to toddlers, you've

524

:

navigated, or you're navigating multiple

stages of parenting simultaneously.

525

:

What advice would you give to

other parents who may also be

526

:

managing similar dynamics or just

beginning their parenting journey?

527

:

Sadia Jalali: Oh, that's a tough one.

528

:

So just to give a little context, about,

I guess it's been about, five and a

529

:

half or so years, I got remarried.

530

:

And so then I had three more children.

531

:

by the way, during my program

at Bayon, which is why I was

532

:

on the super long term track.

533

:

but Alhamdulillah, I just think

back and I'm like, man, Allah really

534

:

wanted me to finish this degree.

535

:

Like every single thing that could have

happened in the middle of that degree

536

:

happened in the middle of that degree.

537

:

And it's just I'm it's just this

constant source of, gratitude

538

:

towards Allah that he actually

facilitated a way for me to finish it.

539

:

Cause he knew it was just

something I wanted so badly.

540

:

And, I hope inshallah I can use,

and maybe we'll talk about it.

541

:

But what I did for my

thesis, cause I feel like.

542

:

That's where Allah let me stay long

enough to do something that I really

543

:

wanted to do, But back to your question.

544

:

this is tough, right?

545

:

Because I, it's an interesting space

for me to be in because I have these

546

:

older kids, so I've seen what I wish

I did differently, what I think I did

547

:

okay, what I think maybe I even did

well, alhamdulillah, I see all of that.

548

:

So I'm trying to think like,

how can I do my best here, And I

549

:

think toddlers are tough because

they do their whole like, no.

550

:

And they're in there they

know what's right and wrong.

551

:

And they try to just test you and be

like, Oh, no, I'm telling you to do this.

552

:

And they're just, doing

it anyway and all that.

553

:

So I think that's been interesting

of back to the, you said something

554

:

and I was like, man, it's final.

555

:

I gotta hear that.

556

:

Say you sounded really merciful.

557

:

I'm like, I wonder if I could

be called that sometimes

558

:

with these little ones where.

559

:

they are just testing you to no end

and you're like, okay, you need to

560

:

go on time out, just really trying

to be what I will say i'm working on

561

:

alhamdulillah ramadan always helps

being more mindful of yourself is

562

:

What's triggering me in this moment?

563

:

Is it the defiance that they're giving me?

564

:

And why is that upsetting me so much?

565

:

Why is my ego so bothered right now?

566

:

They're a little kid.

567

:

They don't actually know anything, And

they're just a little kid who wants the

568

:

candy in front of them, it's this very

humanistic response to what's happening,

569

:

and I'm getting so angry about it, right?

570

:

I think Pausing.

571

:

I think I will tell you one

thing in parenting is pause.

572

:

SubhanAllah.

573

:

It's like when the prophet

sallallahu when angry be silent.

574

:

Oh, subhanAllah.

575

:

SubhanAllah.

576

:

The world would be a different

place if we follow just that.

577

:

When angry be silent.

578

:

Think about your spouse relationship.

579

:

Think about your parents, your siblings,

your children, your everybody, right?

580

:

Everybody would be different if we

were just quiet when we're angry.

581

:

So I think When I get

triggered, I try to pause.

582

:

I take that pause to be like, how

am I going to respond right now?

583

:

Because how I respond is going

to be a reflection of how

584

:

that kid feels about themself.

585

:

What I say to them right now, right?

586

:

And I've caught myself.

587

:

I hear it, right?

588

:

That's the problem with being a therapist.

589

:

You say it and you're like, Oh, that

was the wrong, you heard it out loud.

590

:

And you're like, Oh, I'm damaging my kids.

591

:

there's times where you'll.

592

:

you're just at level 100, right?

593

:

And you're like, what's wrong with you?

594

:

Oh, not the thing to say the

minute it's come out of my mouth.

595

:

I'm like, Oh, come on.

596

:

A little, why would I say that?

597

:

because that's what,

that's my ego got bothered.

598

:

And then I now put that into this

kid's mind that something is wrong,

599

:

because they had a human response to

something, a human reaction to something.

600

:

And subhan'Allah those are moments that

I've really tried to catch myself, right?

601

:

And that's that becomes

that initial, reaction.

602

:

So I'm trying to pause.

603

:

And if I take that pause, my next

statement typically is a lot more

604

:

like smoother, thoughtful, not

as coming at them, making them

605

:

feel bad about themselves, right?

606

:

it's more of a thoughtful, Hey,

But if I'm saying something, why

607

:

would you not want to do that?

608

:

Do you want to make me sad?

609

:

and when you say that,

that makes mama sad, right?

610

:

trying to help them understand empathy.

611

:

when your actions have reactions to

others, they have consequences on others,

612

:

And understanding that you have to feel

for how the other person is feeling.

613

:

So there's a lot of lessons that

I think you instill at this age,

614

:

and then they really do follow.

615

:

They really, truly follow

them as they go along.

616

:

Imam Tariq: Thank you for that.

617

:

You mentioned your thesis.

618

:

Let's talk about that.

619

:

Sadia Jalali: the, my thesis was

on, so In my, life situation, my

620

:

husband did not have any children.

621

:

So when we got married, he

inherited my older four.

622

:

he became a stepfather to my older

four, and then we had three children.

623

:

And so I've got the half sibling

situation, he's a step parent.

624

:

and I, had stumbled across an

article many years ago and I just was

625

:

like, what, and it was basically as

about the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi

626

:

Wasallam having 12 stepchildren.

627

:

Okay, and this is a part of the

seerah that is just, I don't feel

628

:

highlighted very often, right?

629

:

And I don't know if people even know

that he had 12 stepchildren, right?

630

:

And what was that relationship like?

631

:

What, how, what kind of stepfather was he?

632

:

Because to me, when you become a

step parent as a Muslim, it's still

633

:

not as common maybe as it is in not

the non Muslim community, right?

634

:

Like the divorce, statistics are like

the one in two and grander America.

635

:

And for Muslims, it's more

like one in three, right?

636

:

we're unfortunately creeping, right?

637

:

But.

638

:

It's, it is what it is.

639

:

and it's the blended families

thing isn't as common yet.

640

:

It's there.

641

:

It's definitely much more prevalent.

642

:

but I felt like there was no.

643

:

Islamic framework around it.

644

:

There was no prophetic guidance

around how to be a step parent

645

:

or how to blend a family.

646

:

And, and honestly, I feel like

it's a forgotten sunnah, right?

647

:

The prophet used to embrace

the children that came with the

648

:

marriages that he had, right?

649

:

Some of the marriages it's interesting

because you see, you hear less about.

650

:

This, the children, like Prasada's

children, like they must have been

651

:

a little older maybe, or they must

have stayed with their father.

652

:

Like you hear very little,

there's very little data that I

653

:

was able to come across on them.

654

:

And then there's some of his

stepchildren who you hear a lot about.

655

:

So for example, Khadija's

656

:

son, Hind Abu Hara is the one whose

narration the Shama'il is based on.

657

:

Okay.

658

:

And when you think about that, so the

Prophet stepson is the one who gave

659

:

us this chunk of traits about him,

subhanAllah, this beautiful, incredible

660

:

chunk of traits of physical, right?

661

:

How he interacted.

662

:

So what must he, what kind of stepfather

was he for his stepson to come up

663

:

with this description of him, this

incredibly beautiful description of him.

664

:

So these are the kind of inferences I was

making, because again, it's interesting.

665

:

I was, I talked to different.

666

:

Scholars along the way, Dr.

667

:

Jonathan Brown, like different people

through Bayan and through different

668

:

avenues where I was like, tell me

where can I find more sources on this?

669

:

And they said, it could be that

this is not highlighted specifically

670

:

because this was very common.

671

:

People married and remarried,

sorry, divorced and remarried.

672

:

And it was just a, it was

like, It happened, right?

673

:

So it wasn't, a unique circumstance

that needed to be highlighted.

674

:

Maybe this is just an idea, right?

675

:

That maybe this is why it's not

so specific or some specific,

676

:

area of study because it was

just more commonplace simply.

677

:

and now we look at it as some

sort of unique circumstance

678

:

or different circumstance.

679

:

and so I wanted to really Highlight,

what was the prophetic approach?

680

:

So not just the prophet's ﷺ approach,

but the early Muslims as well, right?

681

:

from Abu Bakr to Ali to Jafr,

, like they all, many of them had

682

:

step kids and you learn a lot

about how they interacted with.

683

:

And so I tried developing a healthy Muslim

framework for blended families based on.

684

:

secular principles, right?

685

:

What we're taught now about how

step families should operate

686

:

and blending what I saw within

the prophetic approach as well.

687

:

So it was something near

and dear to my heart.

688

:

Cause it was, came from a

kind of a personal interest.

689

:

but I also felt like this is an

interesting thing to contribute to the

690

:

literature on SETA is that I don't know

if people talk about this very much.

691

:

Imam Tariq: Interesting.

692

:

No, I don't think that's

a worthy descriptor.

693

:

no, not at all.

694

:

That's fascinating.

695

:

I've never actually considered that

part of rasulullah ﷺ of his life.

696

:

Sadia Jalali: And honestly, it

only makes you love him more.

697

:

Imam Tariq: Absolutely.

698

:

Sadia Jalali: It's like Hanah.

699

:

If you needed any more reasons

to , to love our olah, it is.

700

:

Look at how he parented.

701

:

Look at how he parented.

702

:

Look how he step parented.

703

:

My goodness.

704

:

subhan'Allah Just,

absolutely, truly the best of,

705

:

Imam Tariq: absolutely,

706

:

Sadia Jalali: truly the best of

707

:

Imam Tariq: now.

708

:

Is that available?

709

:

Is that available publicly?

710

:

Sadia Jalali: So what I'm trying to

do, and Allah, make it easy on me, and

711

:

facilitate this for me, I'm trying to

turn it into a book for the general

712

:

public, because even as I, defended

my thesis for one of our non Muslim

713

:

professors, she was like, are you

going to turn this into something?

714

:

She was like, I have never

heard of any of this.

715

:

I don't even, she's this is good stuff.

716

:

she's you've got it.

717

:

Probably people probably

want to know about this.

718

:

So even, I feel like even that gave

me a little bit of a, wow, okay.

719

:

Maybe this is something I

need to do, so inshallah.

720

:

I have, the plan is to make it into a

book just for the general public to really

721

:

try to, especially if you're in that

circumstance or if you just want to know

722

:

another part of the prophet and love him

even more, it's a way to learn this side

723

:

and try to have some Islamic guidance

when you're entering into these types

724

:

of marriages.

725

:

Imam Tariq: Alright,

I'll go ahead and say it.

726

:

This is groundbreaking research.

727

:

I think this has the potential to

significantly impact the family

728

:

dynamics of blended families,

both Muslim and non-Muslim.

729

:

May a law facilitate your efforts and

turning this into a book because I truly

730

:

believe this is gonna have immense value.

731

:

Now, shifting gears a bit,

tell us about Muslim bliss.

732

:

Sadia Jalali: Yeah.

733

:

as you.

734

:

Can tell from just hearing

about my life a little bit.

735

:

I don't have a lot of time free

time Is an interesting thing in my

736

:

life under the Working and you know

raising children and just Yeah.

737

:

Life, aging parents, a lot of

mercy on them, continue to preserve

738

:

them, just all that, right?

739

:

Like just all the things.

740

:

So I think, Muslim bliss is this thing

that I've tried to cultivate over the

741

:

years where it's just an umbrella, social

media, place where I put things out.

742

:

Something will come to mind,

something will, come across and

743

:

I'm like, Oh, you know what?

744

:

I need to talk about this.

745

:

So I think.

746

:

Recently, I had done a, a few tick

tocks where it was a relationship

747

:

goals, but like the sunnah edition and

how the prophet ﷺ would cultivate.

748

:

Romance or affection, you know amongst

his wives and, so I try to highlight

749

:

something that maybe isn't already there.

750

:

So it could sometimes be within

the marital relationship.

751

:

It could sometimes be amongst parenting.

752

:

it's just any relationship.

753

:

I would say it's usually around

relationships, and how to better them.

754

:

And so it's on Facebook, it's

on Instagram, it's on TikTok.

755

:

And I do, in the past I've

done different workshops.

756

:

So I used to do a, Muslim

women's divorce recovery group,

757

:

Imam Tariq: oh wow

758

:

Sadia Jalali: trying to help people

navigate that timeframe in life.

759

:

It can often be very difficult and, to

truly be able to understand it, it's okay.

760

:

And there is life beyond that,

and, understanding kind of a

761

:

list trajectory in those moments.

762

:

Cause that's really hard, so trying

to stay spiritually grounded through

763

:

that difficulty and through that

hardship, I've done just different,

764

:

I did anger management groups.

765

:

I've done just different types of.

766

:

topics and thoughts and I try to

keep it all under the sun umbrella.

767

:

So really it's just my catchall

for all my side hustle on the side

768

:

gigs, on my side gigs, but yeah,

that's it's just a way to increase

769

:

psychoeducation, but unfortunately

you'll see some things are dated because

770

:

it takes me a little bit of time to

stay on top of it and Keep it going.

771

:

But again, inshallah.

772

:

I

773

:

Imam Tariq: mean, you had a post

where you were talking about self

774

:

taught negative self talk, right?

775

:

Reminding followers, to recognize

their own self worth, right?

776

:

that's something that's a

part of our creation, right?

777

:

That a lot gave us that.

778

:

Sadia Jalali: Yes.

779

:

Imam Tariq: What led you to

highlight that particular thought?

780

:

Sadia Jalali: Yeah, so it was, I

did a series, And it was on, self

781

:

love, And we hear this a lot these

days and, like loving yourself.

782

:

And I think if you only stay in the

secular there, you miss something,

783

:

and I wanted to add that this doesn't

come from some weird ego self serving

784

:

place, This is from Al Wadood.

785

:

This is from our most affectionate God.

786

:

This is from our most loving Lord.

787

:

that He felt it worthy of us to exist.

788

:

He wanted one of us to exist.

789

:

He can do anything, right?

790

:

But He chose to make one of us.

791

:

So if you chose to make one

of us, you must matter, you

792

:

must mean something, right?

793

:

You must have some purpose here.

794

:

And so love yourself

because Allah does, right?

795

:

Love yourself because Allah

deemed you worthy to create.

796

:

He could have created anyone.

797

:

He can replace us at any time, right?

798

:

But yet he still chooses to keep you here.

799

:

each day he gives you, he

let you be here another day.

800

:

So it's this, make it worth it.

801

:

Make it worth it.

802

:

he thought you were worth it.

803

:

You should feel you're worth it.

804

:

So it's this, not, self serving like

just from and of yourself, right?

805

:

I think that's too little nafsy,

like it's a little too selfish and

806

:

selfish, self centered, It's no, draw

that self love from your most loving.

807

:

And the thing is, when you have, when

you understand that Allah gave you

808

:

dignity, Simply by your existence, right?

809

:

And subhanallah, when you read in the

Quran, the way he talks about Adam

810

:

alayhi salam, and the way he talks to

him about, to the angels and to shaytan,

811

:

truly there is a dignity he gives us.

812

:

It's true.

813

:

It's just right there.

814

:

He just gives it to us, right?

815

:

And I think you start to operate in

the world from a more secure place.

816

:

as opposed to an insecure

und, undignified place.

817

:

When you start to, move in the world

from a place that you, are worthy

818

:

uhah, you operate very differently.

819

:

You operate very differently.

820

:

You don't hear all the noise all the time.

821

:

You filter a lot of noise out and you

understand, you know your worth and that

822

:

no one can take that worth from you.

823

:

You don't allow it.

824

:

because the law gave you that

word, nobody can take it.

825

:

So even just in your relationships and

in just day to day, how you operate

826

:

the spaces you walk in, you'll be

different because Allah gave you that.

827

:

Imam Tariq: absolutely.

828

:

Absolutely.

829

:

Your points bring me back to

the importance of perception,

830

:

not just seeing ourselves, but

seeing ourselves as a law sees us.

831

:

It's interesting that people into

therapy focused on personal growth.

832

:

I would say rarely, if ever,

thinking about how it might improve

833

:

the lives of those around them.

834

:

And that is a hundred percent fine.

835

:

Self care is necessary.

836

:

Just as the saying goes, charity

starts at home and spreads abroad.

837

:

The way we see ourselves, it inevitably

impacts every space that we're in.

838

:

Sadia Jalali: Every space, insecurity.

839

:

Is a beast.

840

:

And when you operate from an insecure

place, the way you treat others, right?

841

:

You project that on them.

842

:

You may not give them their, their

level of, their rights, right?

843

:

you may let them trample on your rights.

844

:

there's so many things that

can happen when you operate

845

:

from a place of insecurity.

846

:

And again, we only have to look

at the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu

847

:

Alaihi Wasallam to look at

the most secure man on earth.

848

:

He had these people, his own family,

turning on him in the worst of ways.

849

:

The man soldiered on.

850

:

He was like, nope, know what I'm doing.

851

:

I know what I'm doing, right?

852

:

I got Allah with me, so

I know what I'm doing.

853

:

And it's the same thing

that I want us to draw from.

854

:

I've got Allah with me,

I know what I'm doing.

855

:

I'm okay.

856

:

I've got Allah with me, I'm okay.

857

:

Imam Tariq: And to that point, thinking

about Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa

858

:

sallam, He was able to move on, but he

still had to contend with those emotions.

859

:

He was certainly sad about

the rejection he received.

860

:

These things affected him in his heart.

861

:

He was frustrated by the unwillingness

of his people to listen to him.

862

:

People who, prior to his

prophethood, would have readily

863

:

accepted anything he said as true.

864

:

But as you said, the resilience,

and I think that's one of the things

865

:

that really stands out for me.

866

:

It's something I feel as I get

older, I identify more with

867

:

the importance of resilience.

868

:

And I feel like that's something that's

really missing in today's society.

869

:

Sadia Jalali: I think to go back

full circle to what I was mentioning

870

:

earlier, that pendulum swing, right?

871

:

So we as a society, kids are

to be seen and not heard.

872

:

nobody has, you don't validate

anybody, nobody, nobody's feelings

873

:

matter and nothing to, we've swung

the words like, my feelings are facts.

874

:

Feelings are facts.

875

:

Yeah, feelings are facts.

876

:

feelings are how you feel right.

877

:

And to your point of course the prophet

ﷺ was human and he had emotions, Of

878

:

course he, I said, he soldiered on.

879

:

Yeah painfully, very, hurt.

880

:

very deeply hurt.

881

:

but he did.

882

:

Imam Tariq: That's right.

883

:

Sadia Jalali: That's the

resilience you're speaking about.

884

:

And so I was even thinking,

when you talked about that.

885

:

and I believe, you can correct me if

I'm wrong, but I believe it was during

886

:

the conquest of Mecca, during, Fatah

al Mecca when he saw certain people

887

:

who had killed his own relatives.

888

:

And he said, look, I forgive you,

but could you just not get in my,

889

:

get away from me, like basically

don't hang around me because, we're

890

:

like, you are a struggle for me.

891

:

And it's there's a healthy level of.

892

:

boundary setting, I don't know

the better word, Of, it's I can

893

:

acknowledge I got it, but I don't

need to be all up in your space.

894

:

I don't need to harm myself.

895

:

And trigger myself over and over

again by the pain you've caused me.

896

:

I can also say, I forgive

you, but I don't need that.

897

:

SubhanAllah, like this idea of resilience,

I think is huge because that swing

898

:

that we came to feelings are facts and

I just have to live in my feelings.

899

:

You don't have to live in your

feelings and actually it's going

900

:

to be a very hard way to live.

901

:

If the prophets of Islam only thought

about his emotions, only thought

902

:

about the pain inflicted by his

family, how could he have gone on?

903

:

He would've crumbled, right?

904

:

He had to find some strength.

905

:

He had to find some grit in him,

something that Allah gave him,

906

:

something that he could hang on

to, to say, and what did he do?

907

:

He found a few people that supported him.

908

:

So he gave us a prescription, find

good sohbah, find good companions,

909

:

find good people around you who will

get you to that next space, right?

910

:

Who don't only just validate

you, but also push you.

911

:

They like want you to keep going.

912

:

They help you to keep going.

913

:

it's another thing that happens sometimes

is that we will find ourselves in

914

:

spaces of people who will just, cheer

our feelings on and it's Oh, that's

915

:

good in a sense of being validated.

916

:

That's very important.

917

:

You are allowed to have the feelings.

918

:

I'm not telling you

your feelings are wrong.

919

:

I'm just telling you that doesn't

have to be the only way you operate

920

:

in the world based on those feelings.

921

:

That's where I think.

922

:

There's something we

got to play with here.

923

:

your feelings are valid.

924

:

You're allowed to have them.

925

:

They are not wrong.

926

:

However, that is not the

only thing in the world.

927

:

And we've got to be able to

build resilience in people

928

:

to, handle dunya, right?

929

:

We're still in the world.

930

:

We're still not in paradise.

931

:

And, we will be tested.

932

:

Allah told us we will be tested, right?

933

:

If you're a believer, we

are told we will be tested.

934

:

So we shouldn't hang on in those.

935

:

Hardship moments to think that, this

allows me to somehow just be, give up

936

:

all the time, or live in those feelings

and not push for more for ourselves.

937

:

I think that's a hugely important point.

938

:

I'm really glad you mentioned it.

939

:

Imam Tariq: Alhamdulillah, I almost

don't want to ask this question because I

940

:

felt like that was such a great wrap up.

941

:

But I must, so we've touched on,

we've touched on resilience as a

942

:

broad issue with real social impact.

943

:

And if you had to rank it, would

you say resilience is the number

944

:

one challenge facing the Muslim

communities, mental health.

945

:

And we talked about how our

perception, how we carry that

946

:

with us into every space.

947

:

It has impact everywhere.

948

:

And I know that this is a big

ask speaking for a whole lot

949

:

of folks, but even anecdotally.

950

:

Would you say it tops the list,

or are there other issues you

951

:

see that are just as pressing?

952

:

Sadia Jalali: Yeah, so that's a,

like you said, it's a tough question.

953

:

and what I will say, it

is one of the, for sure.

954

:

I don't know if I would say it is the.

955

:

The one issue, but I will say it is

absolutely one of incredible importance.

956

:

One of the top things because I feel

like when you have that, then you

957

:

can employ the tools to get better.

958

:

Then when you have this.

959

:

It's whatever this is that resilience

that, that I'm gonna push through these

960

:

this moment and this is difficulty

and I'm gonna, persevere, right?

961

:

I'm gonna show how my, my

perseverance through this.

962

:

I think when you have that,

you can do the other parts of

963

:

therapy that are given to you.

964

:

These tools, these strategies,

these all the things, to fight,

965

:

different mental health struggles.

966

:

I do think, I think my lens is

always a little different because.

967

:

I typically operate in the

relational space, right?

968

:

I'm usually dealing with

couples and parenting and, that,

969

:

that space of, relationships.

970

:

So when you said, what's the issue I

feel like within relationships, sure.

971

:

Resilience is a huge piece of it.

972

:

so yes, that is still true.

973

:

However, there's just

so many other issues.

974

:

There are so many other issues

in the relational space.

975

:

we have a lot of, our,

trust is a really big issue.

976

:

Trust is such a big issue, when

the world we're living in right

977

:

now is very easy to be tricky.

978

:

It's very easy to slip up.

979

:

It's very easy to, take a step right

outside of your marriage, maybe not

980

:

a whole, like a whole full fledged

something, dabbling in these spaces

981

:

that you know are not appropriate and

without the bounds of the marriage.

982

:

or, I think, That's a struggle, be it

relationships you have online, co workers,

983

:

this, that, different spaces, I think

that's very tricky, be it pornography,

984

:

it's another area that's outside of the

bounds of marriage, there are Real issues

985

:

there that are so incredibly difficult,

and are really plaguing our marriages.

986

:

They are plaguing our marriages.

987

:

And, lots of, again, infidelity or the

secret marriages that come out too.

988

:

those first marriages, And so I'm

not getting into the thick of it.

989

:

That's not even the point I'm telling

you how it's impacting the first.

990

:

You

991

:

Imam Tariq: no, no, I'm with you.

992

:

Sadia Jalali: how it's impacting the

children, how it's impacting, right?

993

:

so again, my more broader lens

tends to be in that relational

994

:

space, but you know what?

995

:

Resilience fits there too, because

as a couple, even when you go

996

:

through some of those issues,

there is still a path if you want.

997

:

If you want that path, and both

people are working towards that

998

:

path, there is a way, right?

999

:

But it takes a whole lot of resilience,

and trust, back to that trust issue.

:

00:49:52,987 --> 00:49:57,007

SubhanAllah, Muslims used to be

known, like our word was our word.

:

00:49:57,387 --> 00:49:59,197

That's not a thing anymore.

:

00:50:00,017 --> 00:50:01,087

And it's really sad.

:

00:50:01,937 --> 00:50:02,977

It's really sad.

:

00:50:04,512 --> 00:50:04,692

Imam Tariq: Yeah.

:

00:50:04,692 --> 00:50:05,802

You're absolutely right.

:

00:50:05,962 --> 00:50:06,652

I would hear it.

:

00:50:06,882 --> 00:50:10,302

I actually growing up, Muslim

world is his bond or her bond.

:

00:50:10,672 --> 00:50:10,902

Sadia Jalali: Yep.

:

00:50:12,062 --> 00:50:12,092

Imam Tariq: and

:

00:50:12,512 --> 00:50:14,232

Sadia Jalali: I don't know

if that's the case anymore.

:

00:50:14,232 --> 00:50:16,152

Allah forgive us.

:

00:50:17,032 --> 00:50:21,722

Imam Tariq: insha'Allah, we can

collectively exert and exemplify the

:

00:50:21,722 --> 00:50:27,972

type of resilience where that becomes

a true representation of who we are.

:

00:50:28,342 --> 00:50:29,072

Sadia Jalali: Yes.

:

00:50:29,132 --> 00:50:29,402

Yes.

:

00:50:29,622 --> 00:50:32,532

Let's get back to the days

where, yes, a Muslim's word is

:

00:50:32,532 --> 00:50:33,912

their word and that's truth.

:

00:50:34,152 --> 00:50:35,122

, let's get back to those days.

:

00:50:35,122 --> 00:50:35,692

Inshallah.

:

00:50:35,932 --> 00:50:36,632

Imam Tariq: Inshallah.

:

00:50:36,832 --> 00:50:39,962

All right, family, before we wrap

up, I want to give a big thank

:

00:50:39,962 --> 00:50:43,842

you to sister Sadia for taking the

time to share her insights and a

:

00:50:43,852 --> 00:50:45,212

bit of her journey with us today.

:

00:50:45,222 --> 00:50:45,962

Thank you again.

:

00:50:46,602 --> 00:50:49,362

You can find her on social

media at Muslim Bliss.

:

00:50:49,432 --> 00:50:51,072

That's Muslim Bliss.

:

00:50:51,512 --> 00:50:54,212

I'm also making dua for her

and I ask you to join me.

:

00:50:54,557 --> 00:50:58,637

May Allah bless her intention to

turn her thesis into a book sooner

:

00:50:58,667 --> 00:51:00,277

rather than later, inshallah.

:

00:51:01,077 --> 00:51:04,687

And to our listening family, I want

to invite you to support the important

:

00:51:04,687 --> 00:51:07,137

work of Bayan Islamic Graduate School.

:

00:51:07,607 --> 00:51:12,007

Over 70 percent of our students are

scholarship recipients, and you can

:

00:51:12,017 --> 00:51:15,697

help by donating to the Muhammad

Ali Scholarship at our website.

:

00:51:16,052 --> 00:51:17,762

Bayan online.org.

:

00:51:17,822 --> 00:51:20,342

That's bayan online.org.

:

00:51:20,852 --> 00:51:25,742

I also encourage you as always, to

join our community of learners today

:

00:51:26,012 --> 00:51:28,772

by subscribing to Bayan on Demand.

:

00:51:29,252 --> 00:51:31,532

We are constantly adding more content.

:

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Right now, there are 30 classes taught by

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So get yourself a subscription,

get one for your family, or even.

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00:51:45,842 --> 00:51:51,302

That one person you've been at odds with

because useful knowledge produces peace.

:

00:51:51,302 --> 00:51:51,682

That's right.

:

00:51:51,682 --> 00:51:54,522

I said it useful knowledge produces peace.

:

00:51:55,072 --> 00:51:57,122

Who knows you might make a new friend.

:

00:51:57,772 --> 00:52:01,562

And finally, don't forget to subscribe

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:

00:52:01,712 --> 00:52:04,042

It helps us grow and reach more people.

:

00:52:04,062 --> 00:52:04,522

Inshallah.

:

00:52:04,542 --> 00:52:05,602

We'll see you next week.

:

00:52:06,022 --> 00:52:09,772

I'm your host, Imam Tariq El Amin

and I leave you as I greeted you.

:

00:52:10,012 --> 00:52:11,052

Assalamualaikum.

:

00:52:11,252 --> 00:52:13,812

May the peace that only

God can give be upon you.

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About the Podcast

The American Muslim Podcast
The voices, stories, and perspectives shaping the American Muslim Experience
The American Muslim Podcast is your gateway to exploring the diverse and dynamic stories shaping the American Muslim experience. Presented by Bayan On Demand, this podcast shines a spotlight on the voices of leaders who are making a profound impact in their communities—many of whom are students, alumni, and visiting faculty of Bayan Islamic Graduate School.

From imams and chaplains to Islamic school leaders, teachers, scholars, and non-profit pioneers, we celebrate those who dedicate themselves to serving others. These inspiring individuals include masjid leaders, community activists, and youth mentors who exemplify the values of faith, compassion, and resilience in their work.

Through insightful conversations and authentic narratives, we explore how these leaders navigate faith, identity, and service, offering a unique perspective on the evolving role of American Muslims in shaping society. Join us to uncover the stories of those who lead with purpose and embody the transformative mission of Bayan.

About your host

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Tariq El-Amin

Imam Tariq I. El-Amin serves as the Resident Imam of Masjid Al-Taqwa in Chicago, IL. He is the founder of the Chicago Black Muslim History Tour and the former host of Sound Vision's Radio Islam, a nightly talk radio program that aired in the Chicago market. Tariq is a recipient of the Muhammad Ali Scholarship and earned a Master of Divinity in Islamic Chaplaincy from Bayan Islamic Graduate School in 2022. He is currently pursuing a Doctorate of Ministry in Islamic Community Leadership at Bayan, with expected completion in 2026. Tariq is also a producer of the award-winning UIC Black Excellence podcast, hosted by Dr. Aisha El-Amin, and lends his voice to narrating audiobooks.